There is a certain rite of passage that all children go through. One that strikes fear in the hearts of all parents, but is a great accomplishment for children. And that is independence. It starts from the time a baby first learns to use the word no, and basically never ends.
Obviously, toddlerhood is a huge time period of exerting independence. Every day is a constant exercise of "limit pushing" over big and little things. What to eat, what to wear, I want that, no I changed my mind and now I want that, and I changed my mind again and I want the first one, etc, etc, etc....all day long.
It takes a great deal of patience and a whole lot of learning to choose your battles.
But recently, I was faced with a milestone that I wasn't expecting for quite some time. It started out just like any other interaction we might have. J was about to use the potty and wanted his car to sit with him. I said: We can't take our cars on the potty. And then he paused, turned and looked at me, and said: Why not?
Wow. Well this one has an easy answer. Because they might fall in the toilet. But I was shocked and totally unprepared. What happens when the "why not" has a more complicated or abstract answer?
I was hit with it yet again when I told him he couldn't bring his toys to the train store. Why not? Well, because mommy's too tired to deal with keeping up with them. And because mommy doesn't want to deal with tantrums when another kid touches your toys. And mostly because I said no. I'm not so sure he was convinced that one was legit.
On the one hand, I'm not too happy to deal with the latest in independence. On the other hand, surely my child is a genius. What 2.5 year old knows how to correctly use why not? Doesn't why usually precede why not? And where exactly did he learn this anyway? I certainly didn't teach him.
I'm just about ready to call the newspapers and declare him a toddler-Einstein when I tell him to use his indoor voice. His response? Why not?
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