Privacy, please

We were eating at a restaurant when J announces that he needs to use the restroom. Matt is the resident public-potty-authority in our home. I refuse to touch public restrooms with toddlers in tow since I am way too paranoid about the germs. This is why I keep a tiny, portable potty in my car.

Need to tinkle while at the bookstore? No problem, just gather all your belongings and run with 2 kids in tow to the car. Quickly, as toddlers are notorious for not giving much bathroom break warning.

This drives Matt crazy, as I am way too embarrassed to empty this portable potty anywhere in public. Instead, I drive home with whatever wastes are in it and empty it in our bathroom. It's also a loooong process because we often have false alarms and rush in and out of stores to the potty.

So this is how Matt received his crown in public potty usage. And believe me, he's become a pro! It's a mutually beneficial arrangement. It keeps him from being angry about running to and from the car (plus driving around with pee) and it keeps me from really knowing what goes on in a public restroom. The less I know, the better. I can totally pretend those germs don't exist.

It's only natural that on this particular excursion, Matt jumps up from the table to take J to the restroom. Matt's been embarrassed in the bathroom by J before. In Disney world, J announced very loudly that he had "one, two big poopies and one tiny poopy!" I don't think Matt believes me that this sort of conversation is pretty normal in a women's restroom. Most ladies wouldn't bat an eye to hear that chatter coming from the next stall. But I'm assuming by his reaction that this type of dialogue is extremely irregular in the men's restroom.

As they walk into the restroom, Matt has to usher J past a urinal. Of course there's a man using it. J proclaims "look daddy! There's a nice guy doin' his tinkies!" I'm pretty sure this is when Matt is cursing profusely in his head and turning redder than a lobster.

When they come out of the stall, the nice guy is gone. J is confused and asks Matt where the guy is. His question is quickly answered as they walk out of the bathroom and see the man sitting at a nearby table.

J says loudly "oh, there's that nice guy that was doin' his tinkies!!"

Such a great age, when they learn how to mortify you!